Quotes

Over the years, and just like all celebrities, Robin Williams has been in a lot of interviews. On this page you can find some of his most famous quotes. Put together, they should give you an insight into the person behind the actor … this is the way he thinks!

„Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”

„Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.”

„I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.“

„I had my back waxed once by two women… and at one point they said, ‘Do you mind if we take a break?’“

„Carpe per diem - seize the check.”

„Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.”

„Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that’s going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.”

„Comedy is acting out optimism.”

„Cricket is basically baseball on valium.”

„Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.”

„Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.”

„Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn’t work!”

„I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.”

„If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniel’s is the wheelchair.”

„If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”

„If that man in the PTL is such a healer, why can’t he make his wife’s hairdo go down?”

„If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers.”

„If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

„I’m a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.”

„I’m looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now.”

„I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”

„Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.”

„No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.”

„On stage you’re free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you’d be arrested.”

„People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.”

„Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many” and “tics” meaning bloodsucking creatures”.”

„Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”

„Reality: What a concept!”

„Satire is alive and well and living in the White House.”

„See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”

„Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”"

„The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material.”

„The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, “Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?”

„The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.”

„The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.”

„The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and yelling, ‘You want a piece of me?’”

„They’re talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision- you either go all the way or forget it.”

„We Americans, we’re a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we’ll bomb your cities.”

„We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

„We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

„We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’ but he’s pretty much one himself.”

„We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.”

„What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.”

„When in doubt, go for the dick joke.”

„When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, ‘Can I use a lifeline?’”

„When you create you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that?”

„When you look at Prince Charles, don’t you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?”

„Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

„You want an amendment against same-sex marriage? Anyone who’s ever been married knows it’s always the same sex! “

„You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.”

„You’re going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.”

„You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

„You’re still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude”